


The Bard & The Dragon

by WriterCookies (LewdCookies)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angry dragons, Bards, Dragons, Driders, Fantasy, Female Dragon - Freeform, Inner Dialogue, Short One Shot, Spiders, unnamed main character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:13:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22255468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LewdCookies/pseuds/WriterCookies
Summary: Collection of short stories involving an unnamed bard and his dragon companion.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 2





	1. Something something really bad day

There was a curt knock on the door. At first he didn’t quite hear as his work required some focus. As it was, trying to describe the courtship of some quasi unknown lady by some quasi unknown lord and trying to make that sound exciting in verse is not an easy task at times. Especially when the nobles in question just owned a small cluster of villages whose prime export was various kinds of root vegetables.  
He was currently stuck trying to come up with a flowery verse about the lady’s turnips without it sounding bawdy when he heard the knock once more.  
As he walked to the front door, he wondered who it might b.Because he most assuredly didn’t not expect anyone, his ‘muse’ and part-time mistress was away on a trip for at least a week if not more and he really hoped it wasn’t his patron or anyone related to him because then he’d have a really hard time.   
He cast a glance at the large mechanical timepiece he had installed in the living room, just short of midday. So he really had no idea who it might be.  
There was a third knock on the door, this one still curt but noticeably firmer in tone.  
“Yes yes, I’m coming,” he said loudly as he approached the door, “How can I help yooouuuuuu…”  
It took all his willpower not to actually slam the door shut in a blind panic so instead he did the next best thing. He stared. Like a deer that had suddenly noticed the hunter and the arrow pointing right at him.

A tail, the first thing he noticed was a tail, a rather distinct and scaly tail swishing to the side, and then the hands with scales that first ran up to almost her elbow and then continued in a mottled pattern up along the rest of her arms to her shoulders. The fingers on her hands ended with rather sharp looking nails. Not talons thankfully.  
He glanced downwards, she was actually wearing shoes, not traveler's shoes but shoes regardless, she was also wearing a dress that showed enough cleavage that in usual circumstances he would’ve enjoyed but these were far from normal circumstances.  
The scale pattern crept up the sides of her neck and along the sides of her face. A face framed by straight hair the color of burnt copper and with a pair of amber coloured eyes that was now doing what could best be described as boring into him amusedly.  
The less terrified side of him would’ve almost commented on the lack of wings but was being overruled.  
She was a dragon. Not a demon blood or a lizardkin. An actual bloody dragon.  
What she said next made it really hard not to slam the front door shut and hide under the bed.  
“Ah there you are darling, I’ve been looking all over for you.”  
So he did the next best thing he could think of, he invited her in.


	2. Itsy bitsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bard has been kidnapped.

If he were to describe his state of mind as he woke up in less flowery terms it would’ve been crap. No, he groggily realized, he had descended beyond feeling like crap and firmly landed into the shit area.  
In short, he felt like shit. His head was spinning in ways he didn’t know was even possible from the worst drunken bouts, and he was one with experience of some very heavy bouts of drinking and merriment. His mouth was like a salt desert and his tongue had apparently twisted itself into an unbreakable knot.  
As he tried to raise his hands to his temples to apply some soothing pressure he discovered his second predicament. He was tied up. Really tied up.  
Not in the way of being handcuffed to a bed stand by an amorous partner or by leather and rope by one of the so called Mistresses of the Dark, as they loved calling themselves. No in this case he was was wrapped up almost from head to toe while hanging-  
He now realized he was also hanging upside down. In what seemed to be a plushly decorated cellar. Wrapped in what seemed to be fine white silk.  
He shook his head, trying to clear the fog, only to groan slightly as his vision swam and the motion sent him swaying slightly from side to side which only further exasperated his agony.  
What in the seven heavens happened last night?  
Once he had stopped swaying and the storm in his head had settled once more he tried to recall last night's events, or he at least assumed it was last night, as far as he knew he could’ve been knocked out for a couple of days. Not the first time that’s happened.  
He frowned, the last thing he could remember was stepping out from the library after having spent the majority of the day doing research for one of his commissions, another one of those drab ballads for some lesser knight who wanted to be in the good graces to what he had called “a beautiful and fair maiden of noble birth”. He wondered if the knight was actually aware that- he stopped as he realized was getting sidetracked.  
So he had stepped out of the library and was heading home when he suddenly felt a prick on his neck and the next thing he knew he woke up hanging upside down in someone’s cellar.  
He hoped he hadn’t been grabbed by vampires, things usually got messy when they were involved and blood was such a pain to wash out of clothing.

A husky voice coming from the shadows at the far end of the cellar broke his train of thoughts.  
“Mmm lovely, you’re finally awake. I was starting to worry that I might have injected a bit too much.”  
He craned his head in the direction of the voice and at first saw a pair of piercing ruby red eyes peering at him from the darkness and as the owner approached he saw them to belonging to a woman with delicate facial features, looking at him with a gentle, if not alluring, smile.  
No wait, he changed his mind, it was almost predatory.  
Her face was framed by long locks of silvery hair flowed down her back and into the shadows, her skin tone was ashen grey and a pair of pointed ears completed the image of one of the few things he really didn’t want to encounter right now.  
Great, he thought, he’d be ‘taken in’ by a Dark Elf, but that didn’t explain the silk-  
It was then he saw the set of eight legs and the non-human abdomen that made up her lower body.  
And the red markings on the back of her onyx black abdomen.  
If his tongue still wasn’t so twisted up he’d probably scream but all he could do was stare in horror at the black widow drider that skittered closer to him and still smiling predatory.  
“Oh don’t worry sweetling, I won’t get rid of you just yet. Been so long since I had a plaything down here to enjoy myself with.”  
Upstairs he could suddenly hear a faint commotion but assumed it was just from whatever her lair was hidden beneath. The drider walked up to him and hoisted him up higher so he was now looking at her face to face. It was a very lovely face he realized. Except for the extra set of small red eyes on her forehead that I had missed before. She kept that sweet predatory smile as she looked at him and caressed his cheek with her hand.  
“Mmm, you do look very healthy. Seems like I got very lucky on my hunting trip. So very young… and virile.”  
His eyes widened in surprise as he felt her other hand crawling over closer to his nether regions as she talked. A part of him hoped it was her hand and not an overly large spider.  
Upstairs the commotion continued and seemed to move towards him but he was a little bit too distracted to really care about that.  
“I’m sure we can have a lot of fun together. Just the two of us all alone here in my little cellar.”  
No, that was in fact her hand now groping him and giving him a painful pinch on the rear.  
“Oh don’t worry your sweet little head, your last moments in life will be in sheer bliss. So why not just relax”  
She leaned in close to his ear to whisper.  
“And simply enjoy yourself.”  
It was about that moment the cellar door exploded outwards in a shower of wooden splinters and he felt one side of his face sting as a splinter zipped across his cheek.  
“Get away from him you eight-legged harlot!” shouted a very angry dragon.


End file.
